Healing Isn't Linear and That's Okay

We don’t talk enough about how normal it is for healing to come with ups and downs. You may have moments where everything is going well, and then suddenly you’re thinking, “I’ve been here before,” or “Why am I still struggling with this?” It can feel like you take three steps forward and then two—or even three—steps back. But remember you're not broken, you're healing.

But here’s the truth: this is what healing looks like. Growth isn’t a straight line, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. And if you're a neurodivergent human, healing might look even more different.

Normalizing Ups and Downs

Our progress doesn’t just depend on how hard we’re working. It fluctuates because life fluctuates. Some days our systems are rested, regulated, and supported. If you're not sure what helps you feel rested, look here for micro-rest ideas. Other days we’re stretched thin, overwhelmed, or dealing with something old being triggered again. These shifts don’t erase your progress—they are part of it. 

External Factors Matter

When you’re well rested and supported—socially, emotionally, creatively, spiritually—you may find you’re able to navigate challenges with clarity and stability (or at least remember where your ducks are and what their names are).

But when you’re tired, sick, disconnected, or stretched beyond your bandwidth, old patterns can creep back in. On those days, self-compassion matters more than perfection. No one can stay in “growth mode” nonstop. We’re not meant to.

Internal Factors Matter Too

It’s not just what’s happening around you—there’s a lot happening inside too.

Our nervous systems are wired for familiarity, not transformation. Change can feel unsafe, even when it’s good. That’s why you might find yourself slipping back into old habits or relational patterns. Your system is doing what it has learned to do to protect you.

Many of our coping strategies and defense mechanisms were formed in environments where they were necessary. Today, they may not be as helpful—but they’re still deeply ingrained. The good news? Brains are adaptable. Thanks to neuroplasticity, new patterns can be formed with time, repetition, and support.

Embracing the Process

Healing happens in seasons, just like nature. Some seasons are for growth, some are for integration, and some are for rest.

When healing feels energizing and meaningful, lean into it. Therapy, learning, reflection, journaling—these things should feel challenging but not consistently punishing.

And when you hit a hard moment—when you slip, shut down, or fall into something old—pause. Offer yourself the care you’d give someone you love. Take a breath. Ask what your body needs. Seek rest, not punishment.

Because the setbacks, slow days, pauses, and plateaus aren’t signs you’re going backward.

They’re signs you’re still in the journey—and the journey is what healing actually looks like.

If you’re ready to heal in a way that honors your unique neurodivergent experience, you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can help you navigate the ups and downs, rewire old patterns, and find rest that really restores. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation or learn more about neurodivergent-affirming, trauma-informed counseling at Valley-High Counseling.